I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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