You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
