I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
