My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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