just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It's official drugs can't kill me
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
