why didn't you poke me back
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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