fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
