he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
