Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
