I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
