fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
