i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
