Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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