Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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