When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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