I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
