Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
