I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
