He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
