Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize