sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize