i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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