This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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