mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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