Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
