I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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