saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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