one word: firstdatebathroomanal
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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