AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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