Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
