Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
