I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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