It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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