last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
