hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
