whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
we're so committed to being not committed
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
