But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
