Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize