You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
