Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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