going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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