We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize