She's JV to your varsity
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
