God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
