Duck Duck Cougar?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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