i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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