Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize