also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
