you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
