Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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