fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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