The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
