Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
