Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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