dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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