i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
