I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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