oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
