I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
