So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
