You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
