my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize