is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
