He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
