drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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