he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
