Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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