youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize