What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
