Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
