I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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