I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
