I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize