Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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