wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
