God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
