Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
