Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You were trust falling into bushes
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
