What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
