you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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